My new dog

Tucker, everyone. Everyone, Tucker. I'm going to be stealing this dog from his current owner Ashley sometime in the next couple of weeks. He is awesome. Full of energy, yet still very soft and cuddly, he was incredibly hard to say goodbye to. I welcome any suggestions on how best to get him away from Ashley, at this point I'm thinking about some shaving cream around his mouth and paying some kid to cry "RABIES!!" and threaten to tell their mother that they were bitten. I'd have to change his name too, Tucker has at least one too many extremely unflattering rhyming words. I can only imagine the nicknames people would come up with.