A Blog of "Titanic" Proportions. Part One

Trying a new idea for the blogs on AFI's Top 100 Films, the running diary. I'm afraid there will be kind of a Mystery Science Theater 3000 feel to it. I know it is a bit auspicious of me to attempt this for the first time on the longest freaking movie in the Top 100 but...why not? (Didn't get the time stamp thing down until 40 minutes so I'm not sure exactly where the first stuff landed)

Opening Credits have the most pretentious crap music playing over them, my first thought is Jimmy Cameron is such a d-bag. And Celine Deon is stupid.

For those of you who couldn't tell, Titanic is not in my top 100.

Nice! cameo by Bill Paxton as deep sea diver scientist guy. Hoop earring, bleached blond hair, waxing poetic about a shipwreck.

Alyssa, "What the freak is a microsecond."

Me, "don't know. Less than a second"

One cool thing about Cameron is how he always embraces the most technological advances in his work. I don't know if those deep sea diver thingys are real or not but the T-1000 in Terminator 2 was bad ass. And Avatar was in 3d for those of you that didn't know.

"Snoop Vision" written on crazy bearded helper scientist guy's robot viewer thingy.

Kate Winslet has large breasts. Even in a drawing.

Jurassic Park ripoff alert. Helicopter close up over the ocean with inspirational music playing over.

If I remember correctly "old" Rose got nominated for an Academy Award as Best Supporting Actress. She didn't win, which makes sense considering she had 15 minutes of air time. Dorky Scientist bearded guy sidekick should have gotten a Best Supporting Actor nomination, IMNSHO.

Wow, for as much as we make fun of people's dress in the 80's, mid 90's fashion is GAWD awful!

I wonder if people being checked for lice upon boarding will ever make a comeback?

Leo...It could have been young teenager envy, but I hated Leonardo DiCaprio at this point in my life. Nowadays, every time I see a new movie he's in I'm impressed anew, That guy can act. Not quite as much in Titanic though.

Billy Zane, I don't know what it says about a person that the acting performance of his that I like best is when he played himself in "Zoolander". "Zoolander" didn't make the list of top 100 by the way. Does that mean he's a nice guy in real life and just good at portraying a self-obsessive jerk, or that he's a self obsessive jerk that didn't realize Zoolander was meant as a spoof.

Running and crying not a good look for LB(that's Large Breasted) Kate, though Leo seems to disagree.

37:40 She very much reminds me of a porcelain doll.

38:45 Jump! Jump! Jump!

40:00 Leo, "You ever been to 'sconsin?" Great pickup line kid, right up there with "What's your sign?"

41:40 Alyssa is distracted by the wardrobes from this time period. I've already gotten a couple of "I love that dress!!" comments.

47:00 or so. Nice necklace. Pretty impressive.

50:31 Creepy sketch of baby breast feeding.

55:00 Loogie Hawking, good times.

57:00 Kathy Bates, oh so sweet, a little overboard on the obnoxious American though. (get it? "overboard" ahahahaha)

1:00:50 "Are you of the Boston Dawsons?" "no, the Chippiwa Falls Dawsons."

1:03:52 Kate just Eye F***** the S*** out of Leo. "To making it count"

1:05:30 Alyssa "I want a dress like that. Not the corset part, though"

1:08:19 Was Leo responsible for guys having horrible hair with ridiculous bangs around this time period? Though I'm pretty sure JTT had similar hair to this as well.

1:10 Ballerinas are very impressive.

1:11 Billy Zane is a jerk.

1:13 Wait a minute, she's marrying Billy Zane so her mom doesn't have to get a job? Weak.

1:20 Sorry, missed the last seven minutes reading about the Titanic on Wikipedia. Much more interesting. "ahhh, ahhh, ohhh, ohhh", Sweet keyboard backing Celine, "Near, Far, Wherever you are, i know that my heart will go on!" or something like that, I never could really understand her French-Canadian Warbling.

1:22 Ahh kissing.

1:25 Kate's a little randy for Leo, their relationship has always kind of creeped me out a bit considering she's married to somebody else but talks about Leo like he's the greatest thing ever.

1:25 Creepy! Kate just said she doesn't need another picture of her as a porcelain doll, funny considering i compared her to one 40 minutes ago. (no I haven't memorized this movie, I've only seen it once, though I did catch the end of it on cable while i was napping on the couch the other day, but not that part)

1:26 Kate is not shy about taking her top off. Which I can appreciate.

1:28 Hearing a pretend 100+ year old woman say "erotic" is not attractive.

1:30 Alyssa informs me she's gonna be leaving soon, and that we'll have to finish viewing it tomorrow night. About twenty minutes ago she started reading because knowing that the ship is gonna sink is bumming her out. I've stated on this blog before that her only requirement to liking a movie is a happy ending, and having seen Titanic before, she knows Kate and Leo are not getting a happy ending. She's pretty freaking sweet.

Until next time...